Want to know one of the biggest mistakes I ever made that in my relationships? No crying or showing emotions.
You heard it right.
Like most men, in the past, I did not let anyone know they had hurt me. I "took" like a "man." I took the pain by masking it by being stoic. My partner would verbally say some nasty shit towards me, and I just took it. I took it because I was trying to be a "good man," and I was trying to "keep the peace."
Haaa. I laugh now because I was boiling with anger inside. I was f'cuking mad, offended, and hurt by what was coming out of my partner's mouth. And I never said anything. The more and more I took it, the more and more and more I became numb in the relationship. The more unresponsive I got, the more detached I got.
Numb + detachment = Dead inside.
I didn't speak. I didn't show emotion, so my relationship and my self-worth paid the price. Never again!
"No one can help you if you don't help you." That's what my coach use to say to me. "You walking around being the Lonewolf when you have a whole community here to help you."
The Lonewolf syndrome does not equal family. The Lonewolf syndrome does not allow a deep connection. In fact, in nature, the lone wolf was the one who was left alone because he was dying. And I was tired of "dying," and I was tired of not speaking up and expressing myself in relationships because it was NOT helping.
It takes tremendous courage to cry and say, "Hey, I don't feel safe in this relationship." But I said it. It may be uncomfortable, but at least it will be the truth.
You can heal from the past hurt men. You just have to raise your hand.