Updated: Apr 12, 2020
Is this a good time to y’all boo? Ok! Good.
What couples ought to know about being together in quarantine and How to set boundaries in order to fill your love tank.
Being in quarantine is not an excuse to be shitty and nasty to your boo. .
So Yes. It’s a good time to talk about boundaries with your partner. Yes boo. It’s time. One of my recent clients was struggling with being in quarantine with her husband. They both are fortunate that they still have work but her husband actually said “Hey babe. Look we are co-workers.” 🤦🏾 She was not pleased. I said “This is the prefect moment to start setting boundaries.” She struggles with setting boundaries in her relationship, so we came up with a plan and how to approach the conversation and ... it worked. They both agreed to work in separate rooms and agreed to check in at certain times of the day and they EVEN had lunch together. She couldn’t believe. This was a real victory for her. She has grown so much. I am so proud of her.
It’s so easy to notice all the shit your partner is doing or is not doing around the house. You get so easily annoyed and lash out at your partner because you realized your communication skills aren't the best. Yes. Your communication isn’t the best. Well... this is an opportunity to flip that nasty succubus attitude. Yes I said SUC-CU-BUS.
Here is one way to help you to shift the tension in your relationship quarantine.
1) Setting boundaries with your partner while at home.
Boundaries are great. The one thing about boundaries is that both parties have to HONOR the boundary and NOT break their word or rather the commitment that you sad yes too. Honor and respect the boundary. Secondly, take shame out of the boundary. This is not about hurting you or dishonoring the relationship. Boundaries are respecting the individual and the relationship. So how to you approach this conversation? Here are two ways you can approach this conversation: A) Hey babe.... (in a loving tone) We need to set some boundaries. I love you and I need to focus on my work so can we come up with a plan so we can have some peace of mind around the house? B) Hey baby.. (in a loving tone) I really would love if we worked in separate rooms. I can get more accomplished when I am focused.
2) Nostalgia. Yes. It’s time to focus on the good. Its time to break out those digital photo albums, wine and popcorn and look at old photos from that trip to Italy or Spain. Studies have shown that reviewing old photos from a fantastic trip helps you set a positive mood. Now... you want to stay way from past tense language like “we use to look good. Or We use to be thin. We looked to happy.” Etc. You want to focus on the memory itself. You want to say “That dress always look good on you. Or Those Italians had us laughing so hard.” You want to be upbeat. So dude break out those old birthday pictures and go down memory lane while eating pickled flavored popcorn. 🤪 Its really good y’all.
Comment below on what you and your person are doing while in quarantine and How I can help you. I am here for you.
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Relationship Advice on how survive quarantine with Couples RelationSHIT coaches Olivie and KC.