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Writer's pictureJimmy Allen

Stop holding on to someone who is not holding on to you.

Why are you holding onto someone who is not holding on to you?


Gosh, I wish more folks would get this to the core.


It is a vicious cycle that many singles are in, and they are so unaware of it. Or they ARE aware, and they are willful torturing themselves by waiting aimlessly by their phone.


Sounds familiar:


🤨You are always waiting in the wings for this person.

🤨You stock them on their social media to see if they are dating someone else.

🤨You reject others, so you can make space for this person "just in case" they decide to message you.


Here is the thing, boo. A lot of us have CONVINCED ourselves that this person is "the one." Yup!


Child. That was me. I saw this Italian dude's picture on @okcupid. He was Italian. He spoke Italian, and he was very close to his family. And I remember deciding at the moment; this might be the one.


After our 7 and half hour first date, I had convinced myself that "THIS IS IT. I HAVE FOUND THE ONE."


Nope.

It was the most toxic relationship that I had experienced yet because I had convinced myself that he was the one I would put with all the bullshit.


🤨 He was always late. Like 30 to 45 minutes late all the time.

🤨 He would get mad if I didn't text with 5 minutes after he texted me.

🤨 He'd withhold sex for no reason.

🤨 He'd play these mind games with me. Like, "If you are the one, you'd wait on me." "If you were the one, you'd know my favorite NY restaurant."


Now mind you, there are over 10,000 plus restaurants. How in the hell am I going to figure that out with an emotionally unavailable person?


When we broke up the first time, because there were about 4 times that we broke up, I was a hot mess. I was walking down the street, crying because I thought I lost "the one." But it was the same vicious cycle over and over again every time we g

 

ot back together until I decided that I had enough.


I realized years later that we create these beliefs that stop us from moving on, and we stay stuck.



One belief that messes people is this one, "You get only ONE great love." Child, No. And we tell ourselves that, "I've already had my chance." And we miss the fact that the universe, life or God, has been preparing us for something better. We miss out on new possibilities by holding on to someone who is not holding on to us.


Before this year is over, there's an amends that needs to be made with yourself.


Guess what, Boo? You deserve someone who is saying HELL YES every time they see you.


So what or who are you ready to let go of to get that HELL YES LOVE?




 

If you are ready to change those beliefs, let's hope on a discovery call and see how we can work together.



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