Jimmy Allen gave me a gift I didn’t know I needed. For a very long time, I have looked at potential romantic interests through the lens of understanding what I DIDN’T want in a partner. In coming to an understanding that that was not setting me up for success, I shifted and began the journey of considering what it was I DO want in a partner. I found that I had no idea. That immediately helped me to see why I consistently ended up in relationships that didn’t work. Jimmy also shifted my thinking in what a date could be. Often times, I have felt pressure to be my best version and do all the “right” things on a first date. Instead, Jimmy had me think of fun activities. His first suggestion was for an outdoor salsa dance lesson at Lincoln Center. It was free, by the way - dating in NYC can be line having a mortgage on a house upstate. Unfortunately, that did not come to fruition due to a scheduling conflict. However, the real gift was in learning to step outside my comfort zone of what I thought a date should be, and to consider what I might actually enjoy. This dissolved the pressure of coming up with something fun and feeling like every date was the same - like watching Groundhog Day. I started focusing on all the things I wanted in a partner, activities that were new and adventurous, and you know what, I started enjoying dating and, while I didn’t immediately find my companion for life, I have made some really great friends and am excited when a date opportunity arises.