When Jason approached me one day, he said that my post had been helping him in his love life and he started dating again. He was about to go on his second date and I wanted to help him out. He hesitated at first but eventually, he did and we created a magic night.
Jimmy Allen gave me a gift I didn’t know I needed. For a very long time, I have looked at potential romantic interests through the lens of understanding what I DIDN’T want in a partner. In coming to an understanding that that was not setting me up for success, I shifted and began the journey of considering what it was I DO want in a partner. I found that I had no idea. That immediately helped me to see why I consistently ended up in relationships that didn’t work. Jimmy also shifted my thinking in what a date could be. Often times, I have felt pressure to be my best version and do all the “right” things on a first date. Instead, Jimmy had me think of fun activities. His first suggestion was for an outdoor salsa dance lesson at Lincoln Center. It was free, by the way - dating in NYC can be line having a mortgage on a house upstate. Unfortunately, that did not come to fruition due to a scheduling conflict. However, the real gift was in learning to step outside my comfort zone of what I thought a date should be, and to consider what I might actually enjoy. This dissolved the pressure of coming up with something fun and feeling like every date was the same - like watching Groundhog Day. I started focusing on all the things I wanted in a partner, activities that were new and adventurous, and you know what, I started enjoying dating and, while I didn’t immediately find my companion for life, I have made some really great friends and am excited when a date opportunity arises.